Ruminations

trapped

Perpetual Why

Whether I do or I don’t isn’t really the question here. It’s always the “why” of things that I get hung up on most. It’s the question that’s been bothering me since childhood. I don’t really even remember when, where, or how it all started but I just always knew that I needed to know why. It creates this feeling of anticipation within me that can and will not be fully sated until it knows the answer for sure. But what is there to know? Nothing is ever simply black and white. Of what do I need assurance? It doesn’t necessarily offer guarantees of any sort along with it. Who knows any of this shit? Fuck if I do but yet I can’t stop asking myself the same goddamn thing over and over again. Why…do I…care so much? Because, despite, and in spite of…you.